The Best Dad Program
The Program Will Move You from Feeling Helpless to Empowered to Become the Father You Were Meant to Be and Build and Maintain Healthy Relationships with Your Children.
Who Am I?
My dad wasn’t around much when I was a teenager, but I thought that was normal. He’d come home angry from work, go to his home office, and that was it. I started to get angry. I wanted a dad who was there for me, but I wasn’t the one who could make that happen. When I was 15, he had a nervous breakdown from stress at work, but it made little difference to me if he was at work, in his office, or detained for his own safety in a mental institution. Absent was absent. I realized I was on this path to manhood on my own.
When I was in my 30s, I was in a toxic relationship, and I realized that something needed to change, but I just didn’t have the strength or know-how to do so. I started on what was to be a long journey of self-discovery, with the help of many courses, support groups, counseling, and qualifications. Eventually, I had the strength to leave that toxic relationship.
My life changed from that moment on. I met and married a wonderful woman who already had two boys, aged 4 and 9. I adopted them after their biological father drank himself to death a few years later. This was hard for them, but I was able to be there and support them.
Being a son or daughter is hard, no matter what kind of parents one has. We are all shaped by our past and current circumstances. We are not trapped by them. I’ve spent the last 15 years developing the skills, knowledge, and experience to help men become better fathers. I’m ready to help you do the same, but quicker. Much quicker. Are you ready?
Steve Anderson was the executive director of the Boys to Men Mentoring Network of Minnesota from 2011-2022 and he has led men and boys through transformative weekends in multiple states across the U.S. and internationally. He is a Certified Professional Coach and completed the Certificate Program in Applied Neuroscience from The Neuroscience School.
About My Program
Who It Is For?
- Fathers looking to get their energy back to become the fathers they were meant to be
- Fathers looking for a better work/life balance
- Men willing to put in time and effort (the long haul)
- Fathers who are ready to change and willing to look at where they are going wrong
Who It Is Not For?
- Fathers who want quick fixes that require others to change but not themselves
- Fathers who aren’t ready to look at both the good and bad of how they truly show up in the home
- Fathers who think being a parent should be easy or free of sacrifice
- Fathers who aren’t ready to put in the personal work to be a better father
Module One
Assessment: “What kind of Dad Am I, Really?”
Outcome
- Self-assess your current state of parenting.
- Gain clarity on what you are doing right in regards to being the father you want to be.
- Know what isn’t working.
- Assess your current state of physical, emotional, and mental health.
- Get clear on what changes you need to make to be at your best for your kids.
Description
Your current parenting strategies aren’t working the way you want them to. Why? This module takes the blinders off and will help you see what you’re doing that’s self-sabotaging. You’ll also discover strengths, skills, and resources that are sitting there, waiting for you to tap into them. Along the way, you’ll master three techniques to immediately improve your interactions.
Module Two
Vision: “The Father You’re Meant To Be”
Outcome
- Identify the key components of what it means to you to be a good father.
- Create a clear vision of what fatherhood looks like when you are at full power.
- Identify the skill sets and habits needed for this new vision.
- Generate a plan for acquiring the needed skills.
- Create a timeline with specific goals to make sure you continue moving forward.
Description
Now that you know where you truly are, it’s time to see where you want to go. In this module, you will create a detailed vision for the father you want to be. Both practical and inspirational, you will use this vision to set short, medium, and long-term goals.
Module Three
Identifying and Overcoming Obstacles: “Yeah, but…”
Outcome
- Identify the biggest internal and external obstacles to learning.
- Finally, understand what’s been holding you back from being the father you were meant to be.
- Create a plan to move through, around, or over these obstacles.
- Learn proven techniques to avoid procrastination.
- Improve your motivation to do hard tasks with techniques based on neuro-science, not hype.
Description
Being a dad is hard, and you have 100 excuses and just as many reasons for staying stuck where you are. It’s time to change that. In this module, you will learn how to tame anxiety, conquer procrastination, and feed your motivation with techniques that work based on the latest neuro-science of emotion.
Module Four
What Do My Children Really Need?
Outcome
- Understand how your experience growing up may be distorting your view of your own children.
- Discover new ways of understanding your child’s behavior.
- Uncover false assumptions about what different behaviors mean.
- Generate a more accurate view of your children’s strengths, weaknesses, and needs.
- Gain clarity on how your child’s personality shapes how they respond to your parenting.
Description
Children are neither mini-adults nor mini-yous. This module shows you how to step back and reevaluate your children’s needs, wants, and expectations based on who they are, not who you want them to be. Learn three fun techniques to help your children express who they are as well as create opportunities to connect on a deeper level.
Module Five
Adjusting After 2 Years of COVID and The Anything Goes Attitude
Outcome
- Identify the three worst lessons your children learned about success at school during the pandemic.
- Learn three strategies to help build resilience in yourself and your children.
- Self-assess your own parenting choices during the pandemic that made sense at the time but may have set you up for failure in the long term.
- Gain clarity on strategies your children developed during the pandemic that can actually help them go forward in a more normal world.
- Develop a “return to normal” plan that gives your children time to adjust to a more accountable world.
Description
COVID affected us all, but nobody was hit harder than our children. Faced with the unknown, schools did what they could, but the impact of the last few years on our children may be felt for years, both in their learning and emotional development. In this module, you’ll learn the skills and strategies to help your children overcome the past years of little to zero accountability, constant uncertainty, and fear. You will look honestly at your own choices and identify key areas that, when addressed, will help everyone in your family build resilience and adjust to the new normal.
Module Six
Time to Dad, Part 1
Outcome
- Pinpoint the top 2 things that you can start doing right now that will put you on the path to being the father you’re meant to be.
- Engage with extended family members in a way that shows that the changes you are making are permanent and that they can become supportive.
- Understand that being a father is about how you show up for your children’s day to day successes and failures.
- Identify three things that are sabotaging your attempts at creating new habits.
- Learn three techniques that ensure new habits stick.
Description
It’s easy to say what you’re going to do, but it’s a lot harder to follow through. This module will get you to focus on the top 2 things you can start doing right now that will make a difference in how you show up for your children. The module will address the three things that stop a habit from forming and the two strategies that ensure success.
Module Seven
Communication: “Getting Others On Board The Dad Train.”
Outcome
- Develop strategies for communicating your needs as a father at work and with your wife or partner.
- Learn to identify the core values of those around you that, when acknowledged, will make their support of you as a father a “no-brainer”.
- Pinpoint specific needs that, when addressed, will create the most positive impact.
- Learn active listening strategies that will make those around you feel heard.
- Master three persuasive strategies to increase your chances of being successful in every negotiation.
Description
Getting people to support you, or at the very least get out of your way, is a skill every dad must master if he is going to be successful. This module will give you a mini-master class on negotiation, geared specifically for fathers and their needs. You will learn techniques to change opposition into support. Go into any conversation armed with the skills to make and win your case, all the while making the person you talked to feel good about supporting you in your newly expanded role as a dad.
Module Eight
Closing the Distance – Engaging With Your Child
Outcome
- Learn the top 3 reasons children avoid connecting with family members.
- Learn how to engage in work and play to create natural connections.
- Identify three unhelpful habits that make it easy for you and your children to stay disconnected.
- Discover how restructuring everyday activities can increase time together.
- Create new family routines that give each family member a chance to be in the spotlight (in a good way).
- Understand the three ways sharing responsibility with your children creates stronger bonds.
Description
You are ready and willing to connect, but your child isn’t. Often, the disconnect between you and your child feels like it happened overnight, and sometimes you saw it coming but didn’t know how to stop it. Children need to create space to practice their independence, but what happens when that space turns into a canyon? This module will help you understand the most common reasons distancing happens between parents and children and how to close the gap in relationships in ways that strengthen bonds and recognize the healthy role some space plays in parent/child relationships.
Module Nine
Time to Dad, Part 2
Outcome
- Demystify what it means to be “successful” at parenting.
- Master the ability to prioritize your goals.
- Finally, understand what you need to let go of to focus on what truly matters.
- Learn three types of questions that kill conversations.
- Learn and practice incorporating three types of questions into your conversations that encourage further discussion and build connections.
Description
What it takes to be a good father changes from day to day, month to month, and year to year because your children are constantly changing. Some of what worked when your child was six sure isn’t going to work when he or she is nine. Module 9 is about changing your strategies to meet the changing landscape of parenthood. Gain certainty that the parts of fatherhood you hold on to are the ones appropriate for the long haul, and recognize when a working strategy has fulfilled its usefulness and is no longer the right tool for the job. Along the way, you’ll learn how you are setting yourself up to get “fine” for an answer and how you can shape your questions to start real conversations.
Module Ten
Moving Forward “Fatherhood Is the Long Game.”
Outcome
- Identify the resources you need to find that can support you in your role as an empowered father.
- Learn how to develop the resources you already have to get maximum results.
- Learn five strategies for celebrating success.
- Create a plan for ongoing success.
- Master three strategies for acknowledging past mistakes and putting them behind you in a way the entire family can see and benefit from.
- Turn doubt and fear into readiness and courage so you can show up fully for the challenges we know are out there (and the ones that surprise us).
Description
Module 10 is all about setting yourself up for future success. None of us are meant to do it all alone. Learn how to ask for, find, and utilize resources that will make sure you stay true to your vision of fatherhood. The unexpected happens, and this module will make sure you have a plan that supports your core goals while allowing for the flexibility necessary to meet the demands of everyday life.